Poetry, B.A.D, Comedy, My G'tar, Migraines, A Maori Girl and Me.

I'm a fervent believer in adversity being the sculptor of character and to that end, feel to the soul of me, that my current incarnation is due to the challenges, blessed upon me. I was 19, when my life took a tangent, that was not only unexpected but in the coming years defined, not only my outlook on life but the way I would live it.
At 19, I was enjoying the usual excesses, drinking, partying, and all the other deviant vices, that come with the testosterone fueled desires of a manchild, with newly found freedoms. Even though I'd been  living away from home for a couple of years,  the facade of independence and self reliance always sat in a fragile balance, and I was frequently reminded that, I was not the playboy bachelor, I perceived myself to be, when showing up on my parents doorstep, hands out, a defeated prodigal son.
This is the exact situation, I found myself in, when, this "Man", needed his Mum. I had been suffering from a migraine, that, just wouldn't subside, so, after 2 days, I got one of my flatmates, to call "My Mum".  What happened next was a blur, suddenly, I was in an operating theatre and then for the next 9 months, I was recovering from this procedure, which I had barely survived and had left my body, literally smashed and depleted.
You'd think, that this would be enough of a sign, to examine my life and do what I could to rebuild it. That's what someone, who respects life and those around them, who has had to witness, this descent. I, on the other hand, was belligerent, selfish and most horrifying, indifferent.  The sum of my 20's, was dedicated to fulfilling my self-proclaimed prophecy,  of not reaching 30. I struggled with, a body and mind, riddled with decay, fear and loathing, numbing my existence, with prescription and recreational drugs, washed down with  liquor and defiance. I was searching for meaning and some peace but I  slowly spiraled  into self-imposed exile.
Now, I don't want to paint a picture, solely,  smeared with desolation, self-loathing and loneliness, 
because that's not the case, it's just that any glimmer of happiness, enjoyment or improvement was punctuated by Migraine. It just seemed inescapable, my days were lived out under this ruthless dictatorship, that had every detail of my life under scrutiny, such as, my 4 hour rule(or the 4th Parallel), which through trial and error, I discovered was my most vulnerable period of the day. After waking up, these 4 hours determined, the rest of my day, as any number of things could trigger a migraine, from reading, too much physical activity, eating the wrong food or drink, it started to really contort my perceptions and was creating an O.C.D style hypochondriac.
After too long, I finally realised I couldn't stand that existence, any longer, I  decided to will myself better, and went cold turkey and began to purge my mind and body of  the years of desecration.  My first aid kit, comprised of a pad and pen, my g'tar, stand-up comedy videos and my secret elixir, a beautiful Maori girl, who in later years, became my wife.
So, this became my regime, as the 4hr rule still applied, I didn't eat, I just drank water and watched anything funny, particularly, stand-up. The idea was to bombard my system with comedy. Basically, laugh myself, well. After the 4th parallel, I would write out my poetry/hip-hop verses,( because of the 4th Parallel, I wrote everything in my head). This was a way to focus my thoughts and expand the way I viewed the world, and after assuming an alias, it became my primary writing voice, Laz Kane.
Next, was my beloved G'tar, which I held above all others. Through this medium, I felt most alive and in this, it reflected most closely, what my soul could be, at it's best. I don't really consider myself, a singer, but playing and singing, really, was a super high, only surpassed, by my beautiful Maori girl, who, honestly, I would not still be around. This is so much more important now, as B.A.D has claimed the use of my hands and I can no longer play, my G'tar, but it doesn't phase me these days. I'm not the same guy, I was, in fact, I feel brand new.